JEFF PROBST: Twenty-one days ago, sixteen Americans embarked upon the adventure of their lives. Here, in the unspoiled wilderness of the Canadian Yukon, they must battle not only the harsh environment, but also each other. They have formed a new civilization, with nothing to unite them but a common goal: one million US dollars, and the title of… The Ultimate Survivor.
In this Special Edition of Survivor 3.01: The Yukon, we bring you never-before-seen glimpses into their pursuit of this goal. In Part 1, we covered days 1 through 13. Tonight, we bring you up to date.
Day 15 brought another Immunity Challenge. Konga had three strong alpha-type males: Glen, Lobo, and Neil. Four, if you count Torgo. Would this “dream team” demolish Sampo, or would it turn upon itself in a frenzy of bloodletting like something out of a Sam Peckinpah wet dream?
[Konga Tribe]
GEORGIA: We’re just saying, Torgo, that while this Tribe is now really strong physically, there’s more to the Game than that. Trust is important, too.
GLEN: Yeah, take my word for it, Torgo, these people are seriously into trust. They’re watching me every minute.
EULABELLE: That’s only because wherever we look, there you are. You’re huge!
TORGO: You don’t… TRUST… someone?
NEIL: Lobo. Listen. Georgia and I spent twelve days with that lumbering clod, and take my word for it, he’s not as dumb as he seems.
GEORGIA: That’s right. The clumsy way of speaking and the apparent stupidity are part of a brilliant charade on his part. Nobody could be that stupid.
EULABELLE: You talked to him, Torgo, what do you think?
TORGO: DIFFICULT… to tell. He… ATE… those hallucinogenic… MUSHROOMS; that was… PRETTY… dumb.
NEIL: Was it? Maybe that’s what he wanted us to think.
GEORGIA: It’s all part of his Master Plan. Behind that imbecilic façade is the brain of a genius.
TORGO: The… MASTER… would not… APPROVE… of such… DECEPTION. But… YOU’RE… saying to… LIE down… on the… IMMUNITY… Challenge.
GLEN: We’re just saying whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, is OK. I’ve learned to accept things.
JEFF PROBST: Whether or not Konga intentionally lost the Immunity Challenge cannot be proven. What is indisputable, however, is that on Night 15, Konga went to Tribal Council, and for Lobo, it was time for get the boot.
Days 16 and 17 found new alliances being formed.
[Sampo Tribe]
RUBY: You know, Melissa, it might be a good idea if we all knew who has votes against them.
MELISSA: …Well, Mickey, Roger, and I are all in the clear. How about you?
RUBY: No, I really shouldn’t say. Kitten would freak out if she knew we were talking about this.
MELISSA: … I understand. Kitten’s coming over here. …Maybe you should go talk to Roger and Mickey. They’re both idiots; she won’t be suspicious.
RUBY: Yeah. See you later.
[Ruby departs, and Kitten joins Melissa.]
KITTEN: What were you two talking about, all dark and smoky?
MELISSA: … Nothing much. …Have you recovered from your encounter with the tick?
KITTEN: Well, when Mickey first tried to remove it, I was all, like, “Hands off, Buster!” But then I realized the tick was harshing my creamy ass, so I figured it had to come off. Do you want to know how many votes I have?
MELISSA: … Not really.
KITTEN: ‘Cause I have four! And I would have had, like, seven, if those squares had voted for me instead of Lobo! And I’m just getting warmed up!
MELISSA: … It’s not really good to have votes at this point.
KITTEN (sobbing): Oh my God, you’re right! I don’t know why I told you that! Sometimes I just do things without thinking them through! Trust the Kitten to screw up!
MELISSA: … There… there… Try to… relax.
KITTEN: How can you be so mellow and calm all the time, Melissa?
MELISSA: …It’s like I have the brain of a 130-year old woman. … Only… a few hundred … neurons still working. I need a… what’s that thing?
KITTEN: A nap?
MELISSA: … Yessssss… a nice… long… naaaaaaaap…
JEFF PROBST: On Day 18, another Immunity Challenge took place. We thought it would be funny to have the Survivors throw snowballs at each other, under the pretense that they were using the weapons of the Inuit people indigenous to the region. Due to the physical nature of the Challenge [flashback of Glen hurling a mountain of snow at the mincing and dodging Mr. B Natural], Glen once again led the Konga Tribe to victory, sending Sampo to Tribal Council.
Kitten and Roger each got three votes; the re-vote was, as usual, pointless, and so the deciding factor was votes received in previous Tribal Councils. Kitten, with four votes, was the sixth Survivor voted out of the Yukon.
[Flashback to Tribal Council]
MR. B NATURAL: I’m sorry, Kitten. I’m so sorry.
[Day 19]
MR. B NATURAL: Well, I am SO glad Kitten is gone. Can I just say that again? I am so GLAD she’s gone! How about this: I AM so glad Kitten is GONE! All that whinin’ and moanin’. Whatever happened to leaving with dignity? If my time comes, I’m going to be positively regal when I make my departure! It’ll just be FABULOUS!
JEFF PROBST: On Day 20, after days of anticipation, the two Tribes were finally merged. One day after expected. Big deal. The Immunity Idol was sent back to the museum in Destruction Bay, and the Survivors were now competing for individual Immunity, symbolized by the Immunity Necklace.
The Challenge was essentially one which provided some insight into the Survivors’ sense of their own need for Immunity. To go out early would appear arrogant, while the longer one stayed, the more desperate they would appear. Either that, or it was just a bunch of people standing around with buckets of water over their heads for six hours. Whatever it was, Glen’s physical superiority ultimately failed him, and Georgia won Immunity.
Later, the newly-formed Tribe tried to choose a new name.
TORGO: How… about… DAEMONICUS? The… MASTER… would… APPROVE.
GLEN: Giganticus?
MICKEY: No, something with a more Yukon-sounding name. Because we’re in the Yukon.
ROGER: Reptilicus?
GEORGIA: No, that’s Danish, or something.
RUBY: Solarplexus?
NEIL: Cormanicus?
MELISSA: … More like ‘Moronicus’.
EULABELLE: Zombirificus?
MR. B NATURAL: That’s not even a word.
ROGER: Ah got it! Sampo!
NEIL: We already used that one, nitwit.
MICKEY: Does anyone have a problem with ‘Rowsdower’? Any objections?
GLEN: OK; whatever.
MICKEY: Let’s take a vote. A poll. We’ll wait here, and when it’s your turn, you vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’. To indicate whether or not you like ‘Rowsdower’. If you like ‘Rowsdower’, you say ‘Yes’, and if…
GEORGIA: Look, we have to go to Tribal Council. Anyone object to ‘Rowsdower’? No? Good. Let’s go.
MICKEY: … you don’t like ‘Rowsdower’, you say, ‘No’. That would mean you don’t like the name. However…
JEFF PROBST: At that point, the rest of the Tribe left and headed to Tribal Council without Mickey. After a terse reprimand by the line producer, the Survivors sent Torgo back to collect Mickey. Nearly an hour passed before they returned, and let me tell you, that was maybe the longest hour of my life.
[Tribal Council]
GLEN: So you guys are all voting me out, is that right?
ROGER: What makes yew say that?
GLEN: Mickey told me. You’re all afraid of me.
MELISSA: … Well, should we be?
GLEN: You’re becoming insignificant to me, getting smaller by the minute. Why, I could crush you all, like insects. [Glen begins to chuckle maniacally, and suddenly clutches his chest, in pain.]
EULABELLE: Oh, Lord, I think he’s gonna blow!
JEFF PROBST: Take it easy, everyone. Nothing is final until the votes are tallied. And then the person with the most votes will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. God, can we get this started?
[Mickey and Torgo finally appear.]
NEIL: What took you guys so long?
MICKEY: “Wait here, Mickey,” they said. “We’ll be right back.” Everyone was gone, but I waited. And waited. Trying to give Mickey the slip, huh? Thanks a lot. Thanks.
JEFF PROBST: Eventually, Glen was voted out, and was asked, very carefully, to leave the Tribal Council area. Which brings us to the present. Sixteen began; now, only nine remain. Who will be… The Ultimate Survivor? Join us next time, on Survivor 3.01: The Yukon!
Day 22-23
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